after 21 years, i finally realised that im an ungrateful and unappreciative being. whoever tried to be nice to me, make my day or just to cheer me up, has always been brushed away from my cold and unfeeling attitude.

i guess i can never be one who reciprocates feelings/friendship. i just suck at it. big time. i can never be understanding enough.

i dont even think i deserve any friends. i wonder how many of them have been putting up with me quietly. many must have felt trapped and helpless for being obliged to entertain me for my nonsense. god, i cant even bear to think how my family thinks of me.

it is no wonder my parents refused to let me go on the student exchange alone. they must have been afraid that i would be stranded to death in isolation in shanghai, because no one would befriend me for my attitude.

if anyone wanna start saving yourself, you can just cut off contact with me. i think many of you would be better off without a friend like me.

god bless.